Hong Kong Phooey

The Way We Were

Memories,

Like the corners of my mind

Misty water-colored memories

Of the way we were

Scattered pictures,

Of the smiles we left behind

Smiles we gave to one another (Pascal: WE USE TO BE SOMETHING SPECIAL, YOU USE TO LET ME DO WHATEVER I WANTED TO DO)

For the way we were

Can it be that it was all so simple then?

Or has time re-written every line? (Pascal: TIME AND MARRIAGE, EVER SINCE YOU MARRIED THAT MORON MY LIFE HAS GONE TO THE DOGS)

If we had the chance to do it all again

Tell me, would we? (Pascal: HELL YES WE WOULD, WE WERE LIVING THE LIFE)

could we? (Chipug: NO BECAUSE DADDY YELLS AT US)

Memories, may be beautiful and yet

Whats too painful to remember (Chipug: HOW COULD YOU? DONT I DESERVE TO BE COMFORTABLE?)

We simply choose to forget (Chipug: I AINT FORGETTIN NOTHING, YOU BETTER LOCK YOUR DOORS AT NIGHT LADY)

So its the laughter (Pascal: AND THE BIG FLUFFY PILLOWS)

We will remember

Whenever we remember...The way we were...The way we were...

Andrew and I celebrated our 2nd anniversary over the weekend. We went to dinner and had a romantic evening. Andrew bought me some perfume and a beautiful cross necklace. Love you Sparky!


Oh yeah, we also ate the remaining piece of our wedding cake. It was gross!

Andrew and I got some new furniture this weekend! The only way I could get him to go and even LOOK at new furniture was if I promised him he could have a recliner. Hey, I had to do what I had to do :) So we ended up finding an AWESOME deal on a sectional at the Macy's furniture outlet, and then we bought his recliner at Fingers. Overall, we got lucky, both pieces we love and were very reasonable. No bad if I do say so myself!

We finally got satellite tv and one day last week Andrew tells me about this new channel. He said it was a Lifetime for Men channel. I tell him I have never heard of it before and he tells me he LOVES it and he is very excited about it. A few days later, while he was surfing, we come across LMN. He tells me that this is the new channel, the new Lifetime for Men Network channel. I say, are you sure about that, LMN stands for Lifetime MOVIE network, NOT MEN network!!! I swear he is SOOO blonde at times!

The girl doctor might be wrong about the fibroid. My doctor seems to think it is thick uterine lining. WHO THE HELL KNOWS AT THIS POINT! But Andrew and I are excited and we feel like we are still in the game :) I am going to search for a new doctor, since these people can't get their stuff together. More later.

It is extremely hard for me to see all the good in my life when I don't get what I want, when I want it.

These past weeks have been HELL. All the testing, and the waiting, to finally find out that all the fertility drugs did not help us create a baby, but instead helped my body created an intracavity uterine fibroid. All I can say is UGH, UGH, and more UGH.

Yesterday was rough for me. Very rough. I cried and cried and cried. I screamed, I kicked, I yelled. Then I cried some more. The words, "I just don't understand. I just don't get it. Why us?" were repeated to the point that they made little sense.

Then all of the sudden, as if the cloud had been lifted, I actually felt relieved. Relieved that this fibroid was giving me the break I desperately needed. Relieved, that for at least a few weeks, I won't have to think about a "baby."

The option of us having a baby is not possible while the fibroid is alive. It literally takes up all the room in my uterus. This thing is probaby why I am not pregnant right now. The egg had no where to implant itself because the fibroid was in the way. I shall name this fibroid Sidney, and it can go the same place Sybill went to, cyst and fibroid heaven. I digress :)

This morning I got up and I was happy. I even sang along to a song on the radio! I am relieved that I can go furniture shopping this weekend and not worry about spending the money. I am relieved that I can go and buy that $50 purse I have been looking at and not feel guilty that I should be saving for the baby. I am relieved that we can once again be the selfish adults we LOVE to be and only think about ourselves and help the economy by spending lots of money on over marketed things.

Isn't it odd how the heart and brain work? One minute I am sad, the next minute I am relieved and happy again. I am sure I there will be more rough patches, but for now, I feel happy and I am soo okay with that!

Today I am going to call my GYN and make an appointment for the surgery to have the fibroid removed. My research on the internet tells me that it might be weeks before I can get the procedure done. I think they like to try hormone therapy first to shrink it, and then they go in and take it out.

I have NO idea what this means for our fertility future. All of those wonderful fertility drugs may not be an option for us anymore, because they make the fibroids grow like weeds. And even after surgery, these fibroids can come back with a vengeance.

Andrew and I talked about adoption last night and we are starting a separate savings account for that. If we save at least $150 a month for the next five years, we will have the $10K we need to start the process. If something happens along the way, then we will just be that more prepared.

I keep reminding myself that no one said this life was going to be easy. Lord don't I know that! But somewhere along the way, through all of this, I have to keep searching for all the good in my life. We have a roof over our heads, food on our table, and for the most part we have our health. We also have lots of support and love from our friends and family. What more could we ask for when you put it that way?!

Okay, all of you people can STOP complaining now! I am BAAACCCKKK.

***You Are a Chihuahua Puppy***

Small, high strung, and loyal.You do best in the city with a adults - young kids could crush you!

What Breed of Puppy Are You?http://www.blogthings.com/whatbreedofpuppyareyouquiz/

***Your Birthdate: September 22***

You tend to be understated and under appreciated.You have a hidden force to do amazing things, doing them your own way.People may see you as strange and shy, but they know little.Your unconventional ways have more power than they (and even you) know.
Your strength: Standing up for what you know is true
Your weakness: You tend to be picky and rigid
Your power color: Silver
Your power symbol: Square
Your power month: April

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanquiz/

***Your Eyes Should Be Gray***

Your eyes reflect: Intensity and drive
What's hidden behind your eyes: A sensitive soul

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorshouldyoureyesbequiz/

***You Are Chocolate Chip Ice Cream***

You are kind, popular, and generous.You tend to be successful at anything you try.A social butterfly, you are great at entertaining a crowd.
You are most compatible with strawberry ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?http://www.blogthings.com/whatflavoricecreamareyouquiz/

This is the little area where our AC unit is housed. The people who had our house before had two large dogs so they built this little area to keep the AC unit safe.

Sparky is always such a romantic! He makes me giggle! He made me smile after having a less than perfect experience at the diagnostic clinic. I love you sparky!

(Andrew took these pixs, he thinks he is the Prince of Belaire :)

.....rearranging SOMETHING in the house for the umpteenth time! We decided that since I am no longer working at home, we needed to change the home office into a spare bedroom (AGAIN). I think the finished product turned out great! It looks like a real guest bedroom. We bought a cheapy computer armoire to house all of the computer junk. I am at about 80% complete.

So last Friday at about 10AM I got one of my famous migraine headaches. It came on like a ton of bricks and by noon I was ready to die. Literally. I decided that I would go out to my car during lunch and take a little nap. Believe it or not it was not that hot in the parking garage. I get into my car and I move it to a better location, so as to not be bothered by other people. I turn the car off and I lean my seat back. SCRATCH SCRATCH. I lean my seat back up. What the hell was that noise? I listen again. SCRATCH SCRATCH. I pin point the noise and it is coming from my dashboard. I listen again. OMG, there is a living animal stuck in my dashboard. I start to FREAK OUT. My head is racing, what do I do? How did it get in there? Is it going to come flying out of there while I am driving? The scratching stops. OKAY, my head hurts, I am feeling sick, MAYBE, I am just “thinking” I heard a noise. I talk myself out of the noise. I recline my seat back. Calm thoughts, calm thoughts. The car next to me starts up; my car kinda shakes from the vibrations. SCRATCH SCRATCH. There it is again! Okay, I am not imagining things, I know what I hear and I heard a live animal in there. I call Andrew and he offers no support. He tells me that it is possible for something to get in there and that he will look at it when I get home. NOT GOOD ENOUGH. I want it out now! What to do, what to do. So I did what I always do, I went to go grab some lunch (with the animal in my dashboard). I run over a pot hole, the animal lands when I land. I can hear it in there! I turn a corner really fast, SCCCCRRRAATTTCCCHHHHHH. Hold on little buddy! I get my food, drive back to the garage, and the animal and I eat together. I go back into my office, both traumatized and confused about what just happened. By 4PM I was really ready to die from my headache. I get into my car and I turn it on (hoping that I would not hear the sound again). I get out of the parking garage and I hear SCRATCH SCRATCH. OMG. I pull over to the first car mechanic place I see. I go in, tell them that there is a live animal in my dashboard. They all laugh at me. I leave my car there. I call Andrew and tell that it is not safe for me to drive the car with a live animal in the dashboard b/c if it came out of there I would be dead from a car crash. I tell him to come pick me up.

Guess how this story ends? Yup, they never found anything. I am now waiting for the smell to come along OR, JUST MAYBE, the animal got out the way it came in. We can hope!

While I was in the tub last night, I called Andrew to come into the bathroom for something. I can’t remember what I asked him, but I guess he thought it was silly and he said, “Don’t TOY with me WOMAN!” and walked out! I found this hilarious!

Okay, for those of you that read dooce.com, have you noticed the links on the left side of the page? If not, I happened to take notice of a particular link yesterday.

It read,
The Shape of a Mother (http://shapeofamother.blogspot.com)
Images of real bodies before and after pregnancy. Absolutely stunning and beautiful. Some NSFW. Makes me now feel more proud of the stretch marks I got on my thighs while carrying Leta. (thanks, Valerie)
So I went to this site and I have to be honest here, I was not prepared for what I was about to view. It was interesting to say the least, so of course I sent the link to Andrew. He found the site interesting and intriguing, as he is not scared of pregnant woman.

Then from that link we went to some link about breasts. The link is 007 something or another. YOU HAVE TO CHECK these sites out. They are not sexual in nature, but there are pictures that are not appropriate for the workplace. THEREFORE, view them at home people!

My brother use to eat these all the time when we were kids! He ate them so much, that I cannot even LOOK at them today without wanting to puke! Happy Birthday Bubba!
http://www.bad-candy.com/candies/circuspeanuts/

Andrew and I have been running around like crazy people the last few months. It seemed like we had something to do every weekend until this weekend!

This weekend we didn't have one commitment (not to say that we actually got to lay around and relax like lazy bums, as if!).

Honestly, we worked out tails off cleaning house, organizing, rearranging, and paying bills. During our crazy busy time we let the house go and everything else in it and out of it (being the yard and garage).

Andrew did manage to surprised me by taking me out to dinner on Saturday night for date night. He took me to Rudi Lechners (http://www.rudilechners.com/). The food was awesome, the band was cool, and the company was out of sight!

I am glad we got to spend some time together and I felt special because he had to "make reservations" just for us to get in and eat. He is such a sweetie and always thinking of ways to make me happy :)

Everyone in my department at work has to read Now, Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D. by the end of the month. We just got the book yesterday, but before we can start reading it, we have to take this 180 question test to find our strengths. So I took the test and according to these people, my top five strengths are,

1. Discipline (Your world needs to be predictable.)
2. Consistency (Balance is important to you.)
3. Significance (You want to be very significant in the eyes of other people.)
4. Harmony (You look for areas of agreement.)
5. Belief (If you possess a strong *Belief theme, you have certain core values that are enduring.)

I have been reading the autobiography of Mary Kay. Don't even ask how or why I am reading it, I just am! Any who, I found this really great quote I want to share,

"Happiness is different things to different people. I suppose everyone has his or her own definition of happiness, but I'd like to share my formula with you. To me, happiness is, first, having work that you love to do--something you like so much you'd do it even if you weren't paid. Second, happiness is someone to love. And third, it is having something to look forward to."

BTW....I thought the book would be very cheesy, but I am actually enjoying it!

I happened to be in the kitchenette area when the cleaning lady came through.

She noticed some wadded up paper towels by the sink and some coffee splatter on the counter.

She grabbed the paper towels, let out a HUGE sigh and threw them into the trash.

Then she grabbed her spray bottle, let out another HUGE sigh and started to clean up the coffee splatter.

Then she started to shake her head back and forth with a look of disgust on her face.

I know exactly what she was thinking, “If these stupid ass people would clean up after themselves it would make my job a whole HELL of a lot easier.”

Well, guess what cleaning lady….if we cleaned up after ourselves you would be out of a JOB!

Then I asked to borrow her spray bottle because my lunch had exploded in the microwave and I didn’t want her to see the mess I made because I felt really guilty about it.

I bet she is somebody’s mother.

I could feel the rays of guilt radiating off of her body and into mine.

Definitely a mother.

Sorry Mom.

Andrew and I wore our matching Dynamo shirts over the Ramelow's on Saturday.

Sunday I got to go see the Lion King with my Mom and some of her friends. Another 10 out of 10 show. I cannot even begin to describe how awesome the show was! Just go and see it! Take the kids! I saw kids in the audience from as young as one to 90 and they all had HUGE smiles on their faces.

Melody and I went to the Wynonna concert Saturday night! We had a great time! We meet at 6:00 for dinner and drinks. The drinks part was Melo’s idea so I got a drink b/c I didn’t want to seem like an oldtimer (with cheese!). I ordered this drink called the Big Easy Blue. Let me tell you something, if you want a drink that gives you a lot of bang for your buck invest in the Big Easy Blue! I should have know it was a strong drink when our waitress asked us who was driving after dinner!

So we ate dinner, drank our drinks, and then RUSHED to Jones Hall. We left Logan’s Roadhouse at 7:30 and the concert started at 8:00! We actually got to Jones Hall in time and rushed in to our seats. Actually, we went to the restroom and I almost DIED from going up and down some very LONG stairways, but I DIGRESS!

We get to our seats and wouldn’t you know out of the whole dang place the COUNTRY BUMPKINS from CUT AND SHOOT, Texas sat right behind us. YES THEY DID! Two nasty girls with tight jeans and mullets sat behind us and proceeded to eat some sort of candy that created a lot of noise (and they talked during part of the show). It sounded like they wrere eating Reese’s pieces or something to me, but I DIGRESS!

Some people complained about the country bumpkins and they got their act together for the rest of the show. At one point the attendant asked Melo and I if those girls were bothering us and I said, “Yes, they are ruining my experience here at Jones Hall!”

Then the old man sitting next to Melo feel asleep within like 5 minutes of the show and she accidentally bumped his arm that was hogging her armrest and knocked his arm off of the armrest. I don’t think he ever woke up! That gave us some laughs and mad us forget about the Cut and Shoot girls.

Overall, we had a blast. The show was a 10 out of 10. Wynonna never sounded so good and let me tell you she has true talent. I have seen a lot of people in concert, and I have to say she sounds better in person. Just awesome. I couldn’t have though of a better evening with Melo and Wynonna!

I could have gotten a better picture, but cameras were not allowed and I didn't want my camera to be taken away! So I was only able to take two pictures!

This weekend I got to go see Wynonna in concert.

I don’t know how many of you guys are familiar with her song “Is It Over Yet,” but to hear it in concert with a symphony behind her made it so much more real and emotional for me.

I thought I was going to burst out in tears at Jones Hall!

Any who, that song made me think about where I have been in my life (like kicking some a**hole out of my apartment because he was a good for nothing loser one month before our wedding, I DIGRESS) and where I am now (living my life with a wonderful husband and our three animal children).

That song made me think about how lucky I am to have Andrew.

That song made me think about how much I don’t say IT enough.

IT = how much I love him
IT = how much I appreciate him (especially for putting up with me when I turn into CupCrank)
IT = how much I see him trying to be the man I want him to be (which he already is to me)
IT = how much my heart melts when I sneak a peak of him and he is not looking
IT = how much he means to me and how grateful I am that God brought him into my life
IT = everything!

I love you Sparky!

From the box of my Espresso Beans covered in Dark Chocolate, “There is an enchanted place where tender cacao plants thrive in the shadows of hearty coffee trees. Their slender pods are gathered and transformed to create Starbucks chocolate-captivating with coffee, delightful on its own.”

I love the way they worded the description of these highly-addictive beans,

Enchanted place
When I read this, I thought who wouldn’t want to go to an enchanted place?! I imagined I was on the Blue Lagoon beach frolicking along the water in the nude with my long hair covering my ample breasts.

Tender cacao plants thrive
When I read this, I thought oh so very tender and delicate those cacoa plants! I just wanted to scoop them up and love on them like a little newborn puppies!

Shadows of hearty coffee trees
When I read this, I thought to myself, “And then out of the shadows I spotted the tall, strong coffee trees that had survived the terrible storm.”

Slender pods
When I read this, I thought who wouldn't want to be slender? I also started to think about pea pods and how I would love to look that thin!

Gathered and transformed to create
When I read this, I thought about the umphalumphas and one of those candy making machines from the Willy Wonka movie.

Captivating with coffee
When I read this, images of Cinderella dancing with the Price right before the clock struck midnight ran through my mind. The Prince was captivating!

Delightful on its own
When I read this, it made me think about how delightful it was for me to take this trip down Starbuck's very seductive advertising road :) I guess I fell for it, I want more of their stuff!

Andrew and I just got back from our night in Galveston! We had a good time, we need to do this more often :) Here are some pixs, enjoy!

I have been meaning to post this pixs for awhile, but I just downloaded them from my camera! At James' first b-day party the kids put on these b-days hats with the rubber strings. I put one on Carsten and he could not figure out where the weird sensation under his chin was coming from. I laughed and laughed until Karol made me take it off of him! Sorry Bubby, Aunt Meme had a good laugh at your expense!

I got suckered into co-hosting a Mary Kay party for my friend Alison. I was a little leary at first, but we had a great time! I am glad I co-hosted it!

So I have dreams about Dolly Parton. I admit it. I think this is because she is my FAVORITE singer/song writer/ performer/ overall star personality.

Nine times out of ten when I listen to my iPOD I choose my Dolly play list. Why you ask? Because I know all of the songs and I like them!

Any who, last night I had a dream about her. My Mom, my brother, and I were at a Dolly concert. It was in a really nice small venue and I was in heaven.

After Dolly finished singing, this announcer guy came onto the stage and told everyone that we were all going to have a meet-and-greet with Dolly! I was BEYOND EXCITED.

For those of you who know me well, know that I have always said that I don’t think I would want to meet Dolly in real life because she is on a pedestal in my mind. And if I were to met her and she was having an off day or something and was mean to me, my whole world would be crushed.

So let’s go back to my dream. After the announcer said that we were going to have a meet-and-greet with Dolly, she came and sat down close to us while her area was being prepared for the meet-and-greet.

I was talking to my family when my Mom and brother said they would give me there meet-and-greet time so I would have THREE times as much time with Dolly.

I started clapping because I was excited and Dolly turned around and look at my square in the eyes and rolled her eyes and sighed really loudly. I was shocked!

She then turned around and said something rude to the person sitting next to her. Something like, I cannot deal with these types of people, don’t they have a life

I started crying and begging my Mom to take me home.

Of course you can imagine what kind of nightmare this was for me! I woke up from my dream with real tears in my eyes and I was crying!

I cannot believe she acted like that in my dream, AS IF. I know she would never do that to me in real life and I will never find out BECAUSE I am really never going to meet her now! What a nightmare!

Mysteriously, the apple stems and stickers have disappeared from the selection of daily fruit offered to me. I smell a conspiracy here :) However, I still glare at the water fountain everyday and think about how clean it is. I am a rebel!

Seems like time is flying by these days! Andrew and I have been super busy these past few weeks. Andrew has been getting into soccer (with Danyel's help ;) He really likes it and I kinda like it because it gives me some "Amy" time. We are going to Galveston for July 4th. I got a really good deal on a room at the Hotel Galvez. I think that minitrip should be fun! Then in September we are going to LAS VEGAS baby! I am excited to be going to Las Vegas, and even more excited that I will be there for my 30th b-day! YYIIPPEE! More to come on that later!

I believe God sends each of us a handful of true friends during our lifetime.

One of mine is moving away.

Tonight, our families went out to dinner. We had a great time and the thought of Mel Mel not actually being here in Houston did not hit me until we went to say goodbye for the evening.

In that instant, my heart broke into a million little pieces. I felt "the lump" grow in the back of my throat. That lump was the ONLY thing that held back the tears that swelled like waves behind my eyes.

I managed to look at the ground, at the tree in her yard, at anything besides Mel Mel to keep from crying. In my glances, I could tell that she had "the lump" too.

I held in the sadness as long as I could while saying our goodbyes. But as soon as I got into my car, much like a tsunami, the waves of my tears came crashing down. My emotions overcame me and I bawled like an inconsolable child all the way home.

Andrew tried to comfort me with his words and promises that we would go and visit often. I think at that moment in time, he would have promised me the world to make my tears stop.

But they didn't stop.

With each of his promises, I cried a little more.

While I am excited, happy, overjoyed, you name it for Mel Mel and her family, I am tremendously sad inside.

I am sad that I won't have her here physically beside me.

I am sad that I won't have a lunch/movie/bitch about everything date that is just a phone call away.

I am sad that I won't see Sweet Baby James grow up before my eyes.

I am sad that James might not remember me as Aunt MeMe.

Obviously, I am sad for a lot of reasons (all of which are extremely selfish!) but I am also happy for them for a lot of reasons. BUT damn it I am gonna miss them! I really am!

I wish them all of the best that this life has to offer. I wish them happiness and contentment in knowing that they are in the place they need to be and that they are back home.

I know what it is like to yearn to be back home. I don't think a day goes by that I don't wish I were back in Lubbock. Back where it feels like home.

Goodbye Britt family! Be safe. Be careful. Be happy. And remember that your Houston family loves you too!

This morning, I was walking into the building and this guy almost knocked me over, literally. I was just about to open the door and his happy ass walked right in front of me and just FLEW in. I was like, what the hell. I looked around to see if anyone else was around and there was no one. You know, it was kinda like when you park you car way far out in the parking lot and someone, some idiot, parks right next to. WHY? There are like 100 empty spaces all over the place, but OH NO, they park right next to you. You have to look around and wonder, what was this person thinking, or at least that is what I was thinking when this go-getter almost knocked me over. There are like six other doors he could have walked his little happy ass through, but OH NO he chose the one I was walking in. F*CKER.

My new toy :)

Someone asked me what my office looks like, so here are some pictures....

Just like the good ole' days! I wish I would have gotten a picture with Bubby, Mel, and James. Oh well! I was too busy gabbing!

What a time! Busy, busy, busy. I had something to do and/or someone one to see the WHOLE time Sparky was gone to FL.

Wednesday night-Sommer, Alison (with baby Emma), Cara, and I hung out over at my house. We ordered Mexican food, drank beer, and talked! It is also so nice to see the butterfly girls :)

Thursday night-Melody and I went to dinner at the Olive Garden. I realized how much I miss her! It has been a little over a month since I left that evil place, but I miss my Melo Shulsie :) She was great company!

Friday night-Sharon and I went to the new Studio Movie Grill (over off of Hwy 6). It was really cool. You buy your tickets and then you stand in this line. Then they let you in the theater and you order your food. Then the movie comes on, the food arrives, and you eat and watch the movie at the same time. Pretty cool! We saw the Divinci Code and it was also very very good!

Saturday-I got Carsten in the morning time. We had some errands to run, so we did those, he took a nap, and then we went to James' b-day party. We had a blast! I love being around Bubby! He is Aunt Meme's little Angel! I also got to catch-up with Karol, Lisa, and Mel.

Sunday-Cara and Danyel came to pick up Bubby Sunday morning :( Then I laid around the house and tried to take a nap and watch a movie. I did manage to watch Memoirs of a Geisha (very very good) and cook some fried rice (the fried rice is a Laffitte specialty). Sparky came home around 8-ish. He looked like something the cat drug in, but he still managed to stop at the store and buy me roses! Always a romantic. I would not touch him until he took a bath though :)

Sparky came home Monday night! I was so excited to see him. We had a nice evening catching up. He came to have lunch with me yesterday. I am so glad to have him home!

I have been talking about my OCD problems lately, so here is another OCD problem that affects me everyday.

A few months ago I saw a cat get hit by a car. It was very traumatic for me because I love animals and because it really pisses me off when people do not take care of their animals, but I digress.

So every day since that day, I have been obsessed with looking for animals on the side of the road, preferably LIVE animals that I can rescue.

At first, Andrew was cool about my new obsession to save all of the animals in the world.

NOW, after months of me screaming that I see an animal on the side of the road and it turning out to be trash or what have you, he is ANNOYED! I can see why he would be annoyed, because I am starting to get annoyed at my obsession!

Any who, the other day I was driving home from work on 529. For those of you that are not familiar with 529, 529 has six lanes (three lanes going each direction), so it is a very large road.

So I am driving down 529, and all of the sudden I see people swerving. My heart starts to skip a beat and I start to get upset. Then I started to see pink colored stuff all over the lanes.

I wanted to start crying because I just knew for sure it was an animal. Then I started to think that whatever animal it was, it must be a large animal because the pink stuff is all over the road. I made a quick decision in my mind that it was a horse. Yes, a horse.

As I get closer to the scene, I started to get more upset. I started yelling to myself, “WHY, WHY, WHY do people not take care of their pets?”

At that moment, I talk myself through the situation. I told myself that the animal is in a better place now, blah blah blah (Even though my Grandmother scared me for life when she told me as a small child that animals do not go to heaven because they do not have souls, but I digress).

Finally, as I approached the scene I said a little prayer to myself and closed my eyes. Obviously, since I was driving, I had to open my eyes back up and when I did guess what I saw?

It was not a horse, or a dog, or a large cat, or a person (heaven forbid).

The pink stuff all over the road was the guts of watermelons! YES, WATERMELONS! All over the road!

Someone had lost about a 100 watermelons and people were swerving so they didn’t run over these giant watermelons!

As I drove over the scene, I was relieved that it was not an animal and I thought to myself, what a pleasant smell that is coming through my car air vents. IT SMELLS LIKE WATERMELONS!