I surprised Andrew with a trip to Wimberely this weekend. We desperately needed to get away, and I knew this was the place for us! We stayed at the same motel my mom and I stayed at a few years ago (www.mountainviewlodge.com). The place has not changed and neither has the relaxing atmosphere. Here are a few pixs!
I recently found out that my beloved Burt's Bees company was bought out by Clorox (http://www.greendaily.com/2007/11/07/burts-bees-gets-bought/, http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/06/business/06bees.html). I know this shouldn't bother me, but it does!
Part of the reason I loved Burt's Bees was because it was a small mom and pop shop, and now it is not :(
I should have known something was up when I started seeing it everywhere (CVS, Target, you name it).
Now, Burt's is just another brand.
OH, and this is all after I found out Aveda is being bought by Estee Lauder (http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9D01E3D8173BF933A15752C1A961958260, http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/85/aveda.html).
So sad, so sad. I guess I just need to get over it and find a new product to support (like Indigo Wild http://www.indigowild.com/) LOVE this stuff :)
Want to see dead bushes and dirt? I thought so!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/hongkongphooey2007/sets/72157603913354576/
Well, well! I am alive :) Sorry for not updating my blog, but I have been rather busy. I know, I know. You have heard it all before! Let's see what has happened since my last post, or what I can remember!
1. I went to Lubbock. Nanny turned 70 and the family suprised her with a party. She had never had a suprize birthday party! Needless to say, Nanny was shocked, it was awesome! I was sooo happy to see her. I have really been missing her lately. Sparky stayed at home and pestered me everyday! He missed me terribly, and I admit, I missed him too! I was gone for 6 days. I drove up with my mom, while my aunt flew to Lubbock from Kansas. The first two night we stayed at the Embassy Suites to prepare for her party. It was kinda cool being incognito! After her party, we stayed at Nanny's house and go some good girl time. Oddly enough, no boys went! After it was all over, my aunt, my mom, and I drove back to Houston. It was a nice trip, but I was glad to be back home!
2. I went to a Roger Craeger concert with Sharon and Kathy. It was nice to see them and spend some time together! It was Kathy's bday and Sharon bought her tickets to go see Roger Craeger at this new place in Cypress. It was nice and all, but my feet hurt and I was tired by 9! I did not get home until 1 and in bed until 2. I am too old for all that :) I saw sooo many people from high school there. It was weird!
3. I am taking a senior-level class at UHD. I have a mid-term on Wednesday and I am really nervous. You have to make at least a B on this test JUST to pass the course! It is an editing, copywriting, and proofreading class. I am actually having fun :) I STUDENT!
4. Andrew and I had lunch with Claude and Paulette and picked up the pugs. We got to have lunch with some of our favorite people!
5. Andrew and I went to Fogo de Chao and a movie for Valentines day. It was niiiiccceee! We saw definitely, maybe. We had a good time.
6. No fertility treatments until school os over. Andrew and I are seriously thinking of adoption if the shots don't work. We are going to give the fertility stuff one shot, and then go with adopt. Or so that is the plan today!
7. I am SLOWLY trying to get my home-life balance in order. I miss all my friends! Stay tuned for more.
8. Bubby turned 3 and Aydin got christened! They had a blow out party and Andrew and I were so happy to be a part of it! I cannot believe Bubby is 3 :(
9. I started taking Alli. NO COMMENT! Not sure if this is going to work for me or not. Oh, and all the things you have read about Alli, THEY ARE SOOOO TRUE!
WHEW! I know I am forgetting something important! I guess I will have to post more when it comes to me :)
There are some funked up people in this world.
http://www.kittywigs.com/wigindex.html
I ordered the pink one for Nana and the blue one for Bat :) heehee
Thank you to everyone who responded! Andrew and I are so very lucky to be surrounded by such great friends. We never feel alone or lost because we have you guys!
A quick update…the pharmacy called and gave us the medicine totals.
For JUST the shots, it is going to be $1971.
For the IVF medicines, it is going to be $2341.
Now, that is not a huge difference; however, after you factor in the office visits and IVF procedure, there is a cost difference.
Each time I go to the doctor's office, it costs $385. There is a minimum of three visits with the shots. So, best case scenario is $3126 for one round of shots and three office visits. Now, I forgot to mention that IF my body produces too many follicles (or eggs) with the shots, the doctor will not go forward. Say for instance, I produce 20 follicles when I need to produce a max of 6. Dr. K will not go forward, due to the fact that ALL of the follicles could get fertilized.
Now that Andrew and I have had some time to think, we have decided to go back to the doctor to ask more questions. I think we were so shocked that we forgot to ask some important questions! I don't think we will have time to go back this week, but maybe next week. We can't really do anything until after Jan. 1 anyway (because of the flex spending money).
Keep the thoughts and prayers coming! We are looking forward to enjoying the holidays without having to worry about fertility "things." I think having to wait for the flex spending money was a blessing in disguise :)
Though the deck is stacked against you
Win or lose, you´ve to play
The hand a life has dealt you
And It is a gamble either way
Andrew and I went to our consultation appointment yesterday. It didn't go very well at all. I guess we both went in with a lot of preconceived thoughts and ideas. Boy, were we ever wrong! A few weeks back, the nurse from Dr. K's office called me and told me that my blood work was back. She said I needed a Rubella vaccine, and that the blood work turned out well. There was no cause for concern, and that we need to schedule another visit. So, I was like, cool! That brings us too yesterday. Come to find out, my blood work was not as good as they alluded to. I had two important fertility hormones come back mediocre. One was a protein, and I cannot remember the name of it, and the other was my FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormone http://www.advancedfertility.com/day3fsh.htm and http://www.highfshinfo.com/ ). My FSH is 9.3. Not good. Not bad, but not good. It's not ultra high like 25. Then we would be screwed! But basically FSH is your time meter. A high FSH means your time is running out and that you potentially have potentially egg issues. Here are our options:
1. Go to injectables. ONE round is around $6,000.
2. Go straight to IVF. ONE round is around $11,000.
3. Adopt.
4. Do nothing.
With #1 and #2, there are no guarantees. We could go into debt with #2, and pay on it for years, and have NOTHING to show for it. NOTHING.
With #2, we could have multiples (twins or triplets) and be $7,000 in debt and have to pay for two or three babies' daycare costs, etc. That would NOT be fun.
With #3, who doesn't want a baby of their own? I am all for adoption, but the process is brutal and slow.
With #4, when I am 50, will I look back with regret? Every person, EVERY person, I have met with children say that the BEST thing that has ever happened to them are their kids. To me that is priceless (but then my logical side says that going into to debt for IVF is a gamble and would be heartbreaking to pay for something for years with no result).
So…do you see our dilemma?! We have gone back and forth, back and forth. Let me answer some of your questions (because I know you have them!).
-Why the weird song in the title?!! When I came out of the doctor's office, my head spinning, that song came into my head and I can't get rid of it! Then, I came home and looked up the lyrics and thought, how ironic!
-There are no guarantees on any of this. NONE.
-There are no real statistics on IVF or injectables. It really is a case-by-case thing.
- We have $5,000 starting Jan.1 in our FLEX spending account. Anything over that comes out of our pocket (savings) or we get a loan (as the doctor's office told us to do).
-There is no way to decrease your FSH. It is what it is.
-We have talked about getting another opinion, but come on; there are only so many options. You either have injectables or IVF.
-My insurance pays for the preliminary testing, but NONE of the treatment options.
-Yes, I have thought about having a personal fundraiser, but Andrew said that is tacky!
-The doctor did not say anything about whether I could conceive naturally or not. It makes since that with a high FSH, or above normal (the doctor likes it at 2), that my eggs are not great. Bad eggs can result in miscarriages, which is what you want!
All of this is a gamble. Andrew said last night before we went to bed that this situation is miserable, and I agree. You see people all over the place with kids who don't take care of them (or kill them like Baby Grace) and it is hard. All we want is ONE, healthy kid. Just one will do!
Ok, I am done and VERY open to your suggestions and comments. Bring them on! I need to hear some other voices, besides the ones in my head. HA!
Full lyrics to the song
Being born was the worse & the 1st mistake I ever made
The doctor didn´t spank me, he just slapped me in the face
And the cup of love was always quenching someone else´s thirst
Leaving me to swallow the bitter taste of hurt ´
Cause I was raised an orphan
Never wanted as a kid till the year I turned 13
Then everybody did, strangers pass me back & forth
Men just took me as they pleased
And others had a Cinderella slave to cook & clean & weep
Though the deck is stacked against you
Win or lose, you´ve to play
The hand a life has dealt you
And It is a gamble either way
On a dust road at 15 in a yellow cotton dress
With the desert sun like an angry dragon breathing down my neck
And the dry cracked plains would make me think of a prehistoric time
Or should I fear what lay before me less than what I would left behind
A 15 year old girl don´t have no trouble hitching rides
But sometimes when you are riding free
You will pay the highest price
On back roads & in back seats
And in a cheap highway motel
But what´s a few more strangers in a life of nothing else
16 caught me crying, underneath the scarlet light
On the door steps of a stranger on a cold & rainy night
When I walked into the parlour here
Other pieces seemed to fit I was good at pleasing strangers
So I made the most of it
Either way it is all a gamble
So view the stakes & know the odds
And lay your cards upon the table
Do all the dealing from the top
I told Andrew that we needed to spend more quality time together. So, yesterday when he went to go get his fro cut, he also stopped by RadioShack and bought us three remote controlled cars.
He thought we could play with them together, hence qualifying for quality time. I have to give it to him, it was an ingenious plan :)
The fun lasted, oh all of about 15 minutes for me. The fun lasted, oh all of about THREE hours for Andrew (and the cats)!
He should have known it wasn't going to go well when I wanted to play with the Hummer and gave him the Britney Spears Mercedes! HA!
WOW! I guess I need to blog about what has been going on in the Obennnnhhhoouuuuseee.
Let's see:
*Went to TWO infertility doctor consoles. I liked one doc, and Andrew liked to other one :) Go figure. We decided on Dr. Kristiansen, http://www.drkristiansen.com/, (the one Andrew likes) because her office is literally across the street from his office, and he promised to come to my visits. This might be really important seeing as how I passed out while getting blood drawn the last time we were there!
*The blood work from our first visit to Dr. K came back. Apparently, there is nothing weird going on that can be determined by my blood work. They said everything looked great. I have to go get a Rubella vaccine, and then Andrew and I have to go back for another console to determine our next step. Dr. K mentioned shots and insemination.
*On my work front, I have started working from home three days a week! YEAH! I am at home Monday, Tuesday, and Fridays, UNLESS something weird happens and I have to go into the office. I have to admit, being at home has been really nice!
*Andrew's job is going very well. He has been super busy, but I think that is a good thing! The people at his work love him, as I do :) He has some interesting work stories, ask him about them next time you see him!
I think that is most of everything I need to catch you guys up on! We are gearing up for the holidays. I am taking the week of Christmas off, but we are not sure about Andrew's schedule. My grandmother is coming into town, as is my brother! YEAH! I am excited to see them.
I found six old rolls of film last weekend, and went to go have them developed. Was I ever surprised! For one thing, one of the rolls was Andrew's and it was from 1998! He was so young and handsome :) heehee! Here are some of the pixs we found. I am so happy, I found those rolls of film.
"U sooooo quiet this morning!!! How u feeling??? LUH U!!!!!!!"
"I feel like my head exploded and I am trying to pick up the pieces. I really think this headache has done some permanent damage. It is still lingering, but I am trying to stay very still in hopes of getting rid of it. No sudden movement. No sudden sounds. No sudden feelings. How are you doing?"
http://www.flickr.com/photos/14493970@N08/sets/72157602231984117/
Needless to say, we had a blast! Destin is beyond beautiful. I am glad to be home with the kids. We missed them the most :) ENJOY our pixs!