"I HATE YOU for buying new furniture. I'm never snugging with you AGAIN, EVER!!" 
The Way We Were
Memories,
Like the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored memories
Of the way we were
Scattered pictures,
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another (Pascal: WE USE TO BE SOMETHING SPECIAL, YOU USE TO LET ME DO WHATEVER I WANTED TO DO)
For the way we were
Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Or has time re-written every line? (Pascal: TIME AND MARRIAGE, EVER SINCE YOU MARRIED THAT MORON MY LIFE HAS GONE TO THE DOGS)
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we? (Pascal: HELL YES WE WOULD, WE WERE LIVING THE LIFE)
could we? (Chipug: NO BECAUSE DADDY YELLS AT US)
Memories, may be beautiful and yet
Whats too painful to remember (Chipug: HOW COULD YOU? DONT I DESERVE TO BE COMFORTABLE?)
We simply choose to forget (Chipug: I AINT FORGETTIN NOTHING, YOU BETTER LOCK YOUR DOORS AT NIGHT LADY)
So its the laughter (Pascal: AND THE BIG FLUFFY PILLOWS)
We will remember
Whenever we remember...The way we were...The way we were...
Andrew and I celebrated our 2nd anniversary over the weekend. We went to dinner and had a romantic evening. Andrew bought me some perfume and a beautiful cross necklace. Love you Sparky!
Oh yeah, we also ate the remaining piece of our wedding cake. It was gross!
Andrew and I got some new furniture this weekend! The only way I could get him to go and even LOOK at new furniture was if I promised him he could have a recliner. Hey, I had to do what I had to do :) So we ended up finding an AWESOME deal on a sectional at the Macy's furniture outlet, and then we bought his recliner at Fingers. Overall, we got lucky, both pieces we love and were very reasonable. No bad if I do say so myself!
We finally got satellite tv and one day last week Andrew tells me about this new channel. He said it was a Lifetime for Men channel. I tell him I have never heard of it before and he tells me he LOVES it and he is very excited about it. A few days later, while he was surfing, we come across LMN. He tells me that this is the new channel, the new Lifetime for Men Network channel. I say, are you sure about that, LMN stands for Lifetime MOVIE network, NOT MEN network!!! I swear he is SOOO blonde at times!
The girl doctor might be wrong about the fibroid. My doctor seems to think it is thick uterine lining. WHO THE HELL KNOWS AT THIS POINT! But Andrew and I are excited and we feel like we are still in the game :) I am going to search for a new doctor, since these people can't get their stuff together. More later.
It is extremely hard for me to see all the good in my life when I don't get what I want, when I want it.
These past weeks have been HELL. All the testing, and the waiting, to finally find out that all the fertility drugs did not help us create a baby, but instead helped my body created an intracavity uterine fibroid. All I can say is UGH, UGH, and more UGH.
Yesterday was rough for me. Very rough. I cried and cried and cried. I screamed, I kicked, I yelled. Then I cried some more. The words, "I just don't understand. I just don't get it. Why us?" were repeated to the point that they made little sense.
Then all of the sudden, as if the cloud had been lifted, I actually felt relieved. Relieved that this fibroid was giving me the break I desperately needed. Relieved, that for at least a few weeks, I won't have to think about a "baby."
The option of us having a baby is not possible while the fibroid is alive. It literally takes up all the room in my uterus. This thing is probaby why I am not pregnant right now. The egg had no where to implant itself because the fibroid was in the way. I shall name this fibroid Sidney, and it can go the same place Sybill went to, cyst and fibroid heaven. I digress :)
This morning I got up and I was happy. I even sang along to a song on the radio! I am relieved that I can go furniture shopping this weekend and not worry about spending the money. I am relieved that I can go and buy that $50 purse I have been looking at and not feel guilty that I should be saving for the baby. I am relieved that we can once again be the selfish adults we LOVE to be and only think about ourselves and help the economy by spending lots of money on over marketed things.
Isn't it odd how the heart and brain work? One minute I am sad, the next minute I am relieved and happy again. I am sure I there will be more rough patches, but for now, I feel happy and I am soo okay with that!
Today I am going to call my GYN and make an appointment for the surgery to have the fibroid removed. My research on the internet tells me that it might be weeks before I can get the procedure done. I think they like to try hormone therapy first to shrink it, and then they go in and take it out.
I have NO idea what this means for our fertility future. All of those wonderful fertility drugs may not be an option for us anymore, because they make the fibroids grow like weeds. And even after surgery, these fibroids can come back with a vengeance.
Andrew and I talked about adoption last night and we are starting a separate savings account for that. If we save at least $150 a month for the next five years, we will have the $10K we need to start the process. If something happens along the way, then we will just be that more prepared.
I keep reminding myself that no one said this life was going to be easy. Lord don't I know that! But somewhere along the way, through all of this, I have to keep searching for all the good in my life. We have a roof over our heads, food on our table, and for the most part we have our health. We also have lots of support and love from our friends and family. What more could we ask for when you put it that way?!
Okay, all of you people can STOP complaining now! I am BAAACCCKKK.
***You Are a Chihuahua Puppy***
Small, high strung, and loyal.You do best in the city with a adults - young kids could crush you!
What Breed of Puppy Are You?http://www.blogthings.com/whatbreedofpuppyareyouquiz/
***Your Birthdate: September 22***
You tend to be understated and under appreciated.You have a hidden force to do amazing things, doing them your own way.People may see you as strange and shy, but they know little.Your unconventional ways have more power than they (and even you) know.
Your strength: Standing up for what you know is true
Your weakness: You tend to be picky and rigid
Your power color: Silver
Your power symbol: Square
Your power month: April
What Does Your Birth Date Mean?http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanquiz/
***Your Eyes Should Be Gray***
Your eyes reflect: Intensity and drive
What's hidden behind your eyes: A sensitive soul
What Color Should Your Eyes Be?http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorshouldyoureyesbequiz/
***You Are Chocolate Chip Ice Cream***
You are kind, popular, and generous.You tend to be successful at anything you try.A social butterfly, you are great at entertaining a crowd.
You are most compatible with strawberry ice cream.
What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?http://www.blogthings.com/whatflavoricecreamareyouquiz/
This is the little area where our AC unit is housed. The people who had our house before had two large dogs so they built this little area to keep the AC unit safe.
Sparky is always such a romantic! He makes me giggle! He made me smile after having a less than perfect experience at the diagnostic clinic. I love you sparky!
(Andrew took these pixs, he thinks he is the Prince of Belaire :)
.....rearranging SOMETHING in the house for the umpteenth time! We decided that since I am no longer working at home, we needed to change the home office into a spare bedroom (AGAIN). I think the finished product turned out great! It looks like a real guest bedroom. We bought a cheapy computer armoire to house all of the computer junk. I am at about 80% complete.
OH, speaking of the Bear....the piece of furniture that started all of the rearranging actually came from the Bear's family. They had this chest that would not fit into their new house and so they offered it to me. Of course I took it, as I cannot pass anything up.
So last Friday at about 10AM I got one of my famous migraine headaches. It came on like a ton of bricks and by noon I was ready to die. Literally. I decided that I would go out to my car during lunch and take a little nap. Believe it or not it was not that hot in the parking garage. I get into my car and I move it to a better location, so as to not be bothered by other people. I turn the car off and I lean my seat back. SCRATCH SCRATCH. I lean my seat back up. What the hell was that noise? I listen again. SCRATCH SCRATCH. I pin point the noise and it is coming from my dashboard. I listen again. OMG, there is a living animal stuck in my dashboard. I start to FREAK OUT. My head is racing, what do I do? How did it get in there? Is it going to come flying out of there while I am driving? The scratching stops. OKAY, my head hurts, I am feeling sick, MAYBE, I am just “thinking” I heard a noise. I talk myself out of the noise. I recline my seat back. Calm thoughts, calm thoughts. The car next to me starts up; my car kinda shakes from the vibrations. SCRATCH SCRATCH. There it is again! Okay, I am not imagining things, I know what I hear and I heard a live animal in there. I call Andrew and he offers no support. He tells me that it is possible for something to get in there and that he will look at it when I get home. NOT GOOD ENOUGH. I want it out now! What to do, what to do. So I did what I always do, I went to go grab some lunch (with the animal in my dashboard). I run over a pot hole, the animal lands when I land. I can hear it in there! I turn a corner really fast, SCCCCRRRAATTTCCCHHHHHH. Hold on little buddy! I get my food, drive back to the garage, and the animal and I eat together. I go back into my office, both traumatized and confused about what just happened. By 4PM I was really ready to die from my headache. I get into my car and I turn it on (hoping that I would not hear the sound again). I get out of the parking garage and I hear SCRATCH SCRATCH. OMG. I pull over to the first car mechanic place I see. I go in, tell them that there is a live animal in my dashboard. They all laugh at me. I leave my car there. I call Andrew and tell that it is not safe for me to drive the car with a live animal in the dashboard b/c if it came out of there I would be dead from a car crash. I tell him to come pick me up.
Guess how this story ends? Yup, they never found anything. I am now waiting for the smell to come along OR, JUST MAYBE, the animal got out the way it came in. We can hope!
While I was in the tub last night, I called Andrew to come into the bathroom for something. I can’t remember what I asked him, but I guess he thought it was silly and he said, “Don’t TOY with me WOMAN!” and walked out! I found this hilarious!
Okay, for those of you that read dooce.com, have you noticed the links on the left side of the page? If not, I happened to take notice of a particular link yesterday.
It read,
The Shape of a Mother (http://shapeofamother.blogspot.com)
Images of real bodies before and after pregnancy. Absolutely stunning and beautiful. Some NSFW. Makes me now feel more proud of the stretch marks I got on my thighs while carrying Leta. (thanks, Valerie)
So I went to this site and I have to be honest here, I was not prepared for what I was about to view. It was interesting to say the least, so of course I sent the link to Andrew. He found the site interesting and intriguing, as he is not scared of pregnant woman.
Then from that link we went to some link about breasts. The link is 007 something or another. YOU HAVE TO CHECK these sites out. They are not sexual in nature, but there are pictures that are not appropriate for the workplace. THEREFORE, view them at home people!
My brother use to eat these all the time when we were kids! He ate them so much, that I cannot even LOOK at them today without wanting to puke! Happy Birthday Bubba!
http://www.bad-candy.com/candies/circuspeanuts/