One of my avid readers has requested a new post, so here it is! Lately I guess I feel like I have had nothing really to talk about. GASP. The nerve. What? I CAN HEAR YOU!!
This week I am coming off of the whole "I let someone ruin the past 3 weeks of my life" phase. Even yesterday, I still let "that issue" get to me. I allowed "that issue" to get under my skin. I feel extremely guilty. In my mind I keep replaying the events that took place. The events that lead to the outcome, of which I THOUGHT I was very happy about.
I keep asking myself these questions over and over again:
"Am I really that happy about the outcome?"
"Did I do the right thing?"
"Am I am evil, back-stabbing, blood sucking monster?"
"Am I as honest to myself and others as I think I am?"
"Should I have done things differently?"
"Am I am envious person?"
BLAH. BLAH. BLAH.
Just last week, after "that issue" was taken care of, I felt this HUGE sigh of relief. But this week, I feel guilty. I know I am a people pleaser, and I want people to like me. But at what cost? I guess at the cost of myself! I stood tall in my decisions. I was firm. I took action. Things happened the way I wanted them too. Now I am backtracking? What is wrong with me?!! I got what I wanted and now I feel bad about it. I need some medication!
I actually asked DH last night if I was a bad person (like he would tell me if I were!). He told me to quit thinking about it. That I am making it worse. That I am letting it snowball. Damn him, maybe he is right. So here I am again talking about it AGAIN to you! That is it. The whole thing is over. "That issue" has been taken care of. I am letting it go. I am moving on.......
So the weather is rather lovely today, don't you think?!
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